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If my world stopped spinning toniteIf my mind was tired of thinking&& my heart sick of beatingMy lungs tired of breathing&& my feet no longer have sensation from walkingaimlessly through the worldWhat more could I do What else should I do. . .But lay my aching bones to restAcross the bed I would layPraying that God was calling me home today Tired of being pushed && pulled So many different waysHow could I go on?Who is thinking of me,Other than me.Who is thinking of my needs, wants, && desires.When do my feelings count for something, anything?When am I able to know who I really amOr better yet how I really feel without taking into account how others would reactI've pushed so hard to come this farAnd each step is more painful than the next.When is enough actually enough && I have fulfilled my earthly needs.When can I truly go home && be accepted becauseI swear I've done all I can do.When can I lay down && give up hope&& the dreams I once hadBecause I feel now that its time to lay This aching body to rest.Is that not a decision of my own?Is that not my right?I've done all I can do to make people see the real me.But now I'm ready for this world to stop spinningMy world to just come to a hault.I want to go home && be with the stars.I want to go home && be with the people I knowLoved me just for being me.There is no one in this world that feels that way anymore.And thats what I need so much.Thats so sad to say out loud.When I think 20 years old && there's no one left that cares?The way I need to be cared for.Or maybe just can't care in the way thats needed. . .But whats the difference?When you've done all you can && no one sees it?When you've tried your best && no one feels it?When you've taken care of so many people && no one is willing to do the same for you?So If my world stopped spinning toniteIf my mind was tired of thinking&& my heart sick of beatingMy lungs tired of breathing&& my feet tired from walkingaimlessly through the world&& I lay my body to rest tonitePraying that the good Lord would call me home. . .Is that okay with you?

*Adam & Eve*

Close

How do we measure closeness

Is it by how much we tell one another

Or how much we grow as individuals

Or as a couple

Maybe with a little more openness

From both of us we can become the people we are searching for

The person you want to become

Who I want to be 

Who we should be together as one

As individuals and together

Because you mean more to me then this entire world

And I know no matter where I've been 

Or no matter how I've felt about the people I've been with your the one for me 

The one I want to be close to

Spiritually. . .

Mentally. . .

Emotionally. . .

Intimately. . .

The one I want to spend the rest of my forever with

The one I want by my side when my forever comes to an end

I want to wake to you each morning 

And when I go to sleep at night 

I want to know ur there 

Or you'll be by my side soon

We may not have the closeness we should at this point but I don't want that to stop us

Because I know people can look at me and see the impact you've made on my life 

And can see god created you for me and me for you 

To me there's nothing greater than that

To know that GOD took a rib from you. . .

To create me 

Not so that we could come together instantly

Like Adam and eve

But so that at the point where I needed you most and you needed me

We came together by such a fate

Thinking about that in and of itself is a blessing I wake up and Thank Him for everyday

And then I see you and I feel that much closer

That is why I'm with you

That is why through thick and thin I will be here

And That is why my search ends with you. . .

My love, my life

The Adam to my Eve.

4th of July. . .

On the 4th you were missed.

I missed you.

I've missed you everyday you've been gone.

Everyday. 4 months. 126 days. 

126 days of my life spent missing you.

Longing for you.

Wanting nothing more than to hold you.

Nothing more than for you to love me the way you use to.

Wanting nothing more than to not miss you. . .

Not miss you because you were still mines.

But instead I've spent 4 months alone.

Missing you.

4 months. 126 days. Kept count of everyday, every minute, every second.

126 days of my life spent missing you.

On the 4th you were missed.

I missed you.

I always miss you.

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No longer does she believe in second chances

Long gone are dreams of sweet romance

Her nights are no longer filled with warmth & heavenly embrace

Now they are cold & full of longing. . .

Longing for those divine kisses 

That lingering taste from his sweet lips

His squeeze never too tight, he knew how to hold her just right

Now her heart grows cold

She doesn't believe she could ever love another soul

No one could understand her pain

How could she love such a person

Although in her mind their love was never in vain

She loved him 

Every inch of him, inside & out 

Every flaw, every hair out of place

Accepted all that was wrong, it was all perfection to her

When she gazed into his eyes all was right in this world filled with hate & deceit.

But all that escapes her now, nothing could ever be right again.

She had let her soul intertwine with his. . .

&& together it created a hole, a gap, a space. . .

No, a canyon that could never be filled again

That's the fact that everyone else missed.

Not only did she fall in love with him, she fell in love with his soul too && maybe for her that's what made letting go so hard to do.

Thoughts. . .

I sat on the beach tonite

& nothing came to mind

No beautiful words

Or love songs to sing

Only thoughts of you

Thoughts of we

Thoughts. . . she, you, & me

Only simple thoughts of all the things we use to be

Thoughts of who I was & who I've become

Reflected on nights that I held my pillow tight

Wishing it was you, 

When missing you was s0o0o0o wrong. . .

But it felt s0o0o0o right

I've got to let go of this feeling,

But its s0o0o0o strong gripping, me s0o0o0o tight

Like a vice

I've got to move on

Because it seems you & me will never be right

In your eyes. . . 

I've realized I've got to release myself

From this prison I've created in my mind

Your love are like the bars that imprison me

It won't let me be free. . .

But I've got to move on 

Because the love that I cherish s0o0o0o 

You no longer do

& I can't keep holding on. . .

To these simple thoughts

Thoughts of she, me, & you

Thoughts of us. . .

Thoughts of me, thoughts of you. . .

I sat on the beach tonite

&& nothing beautiful came to mind

No love songs

Just thoughts

Simple thoughts . . .

Bring Me Back To You. . .

Love. . .

Its this indescribable sensation,

Something you feel from your head to your toes,

Makes you feel like I don't know, your walking on clouds 

Or moons, or stars or something

It takes you to a world you've never known.

It takes you by surprise. . .

Like when your not looking for it

There it is!

&& when its right. . .OMG is it right!

Its like nothing in this terrifying world can touch you.

No matter what your going through 

Its like loving that person && knowing they love you back

It protects you somehow.

Like your a Caterpillar in a cocoon.

Just waiting to break out, become a butterfly

&& fly away.

Love. . .

Its this incredible sensation,

&& when you have it for someone

You can never shake it. . .

Not real love, not this love. . .

Its like standing on a mountain top 

Or laying in the sand && listening to the ocean crash against the shore.

Love like that you only have for one person ever. . .

If you lucky. Because love like that. . .

You put your all into.

Love like that. . .gives you hope, gives you faith

&& no matter what happens. . .love like that can never leave you 

Even if the person who ignited that flame does. . .

Around. . .

Th3 only qu3stion that r3mains. . .

!s aft3r the tornado has pass3d

Aft3r the hurrican3s have touch3d down. . .

Will you still b3 around?

Onc3 the roof has b33n blown away

Aft3r the walls ar3 gon3

Wh3n the foundation has b33n stripp3d from under us

Will you still be around, holding us down?

Cuz stormy days, snow, & clouds pass

They com3 & go with the changing s3asons

But what I n33d to know !s. . .

Wh3n the natural disasters hit & rip apart all w3 know wh3n w3 have nothing l3ft . . .

Will you be around, holding us down?

Wh3n m3 & you ar3 all that is l3ft. . .

W3'll have to start from scratch. . .

Brick by brick pi3c3 by pi3c3

Will you b3 around to r3build with m3?

Or will I b3 l3ft alon3

Always searching for a heart to call home.