"I Believe that everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
~Marylin Monroe~
If you thought this blog was gonna be about relationships. . .its not lol. This is not the place for you to be if you thought that. Yes as fucked up as relationships are there are worse things. . .like LIFE.
Today I had a day to myself to just sit & contemplate where this world was gonna take me. I sat on my roof just. . .thinking. Looking out over all of LA. LA in all of its beauty. Beautiful days. Palm trees. Beaches. I saw LA like I've never seen it before. Its a glorious place to be. . .to live your life.
But. . .I've come to a cross road in my life. Is this really where I wanna be? There's s0o0o0o much out there. Its a whole wide world out there to see. And I'm stuck in this place. In all its madness. I wanna go, leave, explore.
I feel like. . .I'm so young & I've been through s0o0o0o many trials & tribulations. Seen things no one should've. I've made it through my darkest hour. Its time. Its my time. Time for a fresh start. I need CHANGE. It is 2008. Like 2008! I'm going to be 20years old & my life is no where near what I thought it would be. Its like you hit a bump & you keep going. . .right? But. . .how many bumps do you hit before you just. . .stop. Before you give up & say fuck it. I'm done.
I've realized that you can't just sit around & pray. I mean of course you pray about what you need & you pray things get better but you gotta make moves too! You gotta get up & say enough is enough. You make shit happen! You have to look out for you! No one else is gonna do it for you. The only person walking on this earth you can depend on is YOU. Never think people will not disappoint you because they will. It may not be intentional. . .hell it may be intentional but it will happen. To be perfectly honest one day if it ain't already happened you'll disappoint yourself. How fucked up is that?! But its life. You take your lessons & you become a better you.
The point is. . .hell I don't know what the point is for anything. I have no answers. Shit gets hard sometimes. Pick your fucking head up, dry your tears, learn from your mistakes, learn from others mistakes, live your life the way you want to live it. Do what you need to, & do it to the best of your abilities. Don't let something get you so down where you give up.
What's the definition of change?
1. To make the form, nature, content, of something different from what it is or what it would be if left alone.
2. To transform or convert.
Change is a hell of a thing. Its scary. Its big! But its inevitable. You can't hide from it. You can't run. It'll catch you. Accept it. Do it before its too late. One day you'll wake up & wonder where the hell time went. You'll look up & be 35 sitting on your mama's couch watching TV, & eating Cheetos & wondering where time went. Wake up now. While your young! While there still time to breakaway & CHANGE. GROW. LEARN. People say life is short. You could look up & get hit by a bus & your life will be over. . .chances are. . .that won't happen. Don't count on it. Don't get so wrapped up in your past & present that you forget there's a whole FUTURE ahead of you. Stop walking around with your heads up your asses, eyes shut to the world around you, like your invincible to hurt, pain, & failure. Your NOT. Open your eyes & make shit happen!
I'm in need of some serious change. I've decided i'ma say fuck it & throw niggas the deuces! I'ma make something of the shambles my life is in. Because if I sat back & thought someone else was gonna do it for me nothing would ever get done. If you push through the pain, there's gonna be a brighter day waiting for you on the other side. That's a promise. My bags are packed. My flights been booked. So what are you waiting for?
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