*Adam & Eve*

Close

How do we measure closeness

Is it by how much we tell one another

Or how much we grow as individuals

Or as a couple

Maybe with a little more openness

From both of us we can become the people we are searching for

The person you want to become

Who I want to be 

Who we should be together as one

As individuals and together

Because you mean more to me then this entire world

And I know no matter where I've been 

Or no matter how I've felt about the people I've been with your the one for me 

The one I want to be close to

Spiritually. . .

Mentally. . .

Emotionally. . .

Intimately. . .

The one I want to spend the rest of my forever with

The one I want by my side when my forever comes to an end

I want to wake to you each morning 

And when I go to sleep at night 

I want to know ur there 

Or you'll be by my side soon

We may not have the closeness we should at this point but I don't want that to stop us

Because I know people can look at me and see the impact you've made on my life 

And can see god created you for me and me for you 

To me there's nothing greater than that

To know that GOD took a rib from you. . .

To create me 

Not so that we could come together instantly

Like Adam and eve

But so that at the point where I needed you most and you needed me

We came together by such a fate

Thinking about that in and of itself is a blessing I wake up and Thank Him for everyday

And then I see you and I feel that much closer

That is why I'm with you

That is why through thick and thin I will be here

And That is why my search ends with you. . .

My love, my life

The Adam to my Eve.

Thoughts. . .

I sat on the beach tonite

& nothing came to mind

No beautiful words

Or love songs to sing

Only thoughts of you

Thoughts of we

Thoughts. . . she, you, & me

Only simple thoughts of all the things we use to be

Thoughts of who I was & who I've become

Reflected on nights that I held my pillow tight

Wishing it was you, 

When missing you was s0o0o0o wrong. . .

But it felt s0o0o0o right

I've got to let go of this feeling,

But its s0o0o0o strong gripping, me s0o0o0o tight

Like a vice

I've got to move on

Because it seems you & me will never be right

In your eyes. . . 

I've realized I've got to release myself

From this prison I've created in my mind

Your love are like the bars that imprison me

It won't let me be free. . .

But I've got to move on 

Because the love that I cherish s0o0o0o 

You no longer do

& I can't keep holding on. . .

To these simple thoughts

Thoughts of she, me, & you

Thoughts of us. . .

Thoughts of me, thoughts of you. . .

I sat on the beach tonite

&& nothing beautiful came to mind

No love songs

Just thoughts

Simple thoughts . . .

Bring Me Back To You. . .

Love. . .

Its this indescribable sensation,

Something you feel from your head to your toes,

Makes you feel like I don't know, your walking on clouds 

Or moons, or stars or something

It takes you to a world you've never known.

It takes you by surprise. . .

Like when your not looking for it

There it is!

&& when its right. . .OMG is it right!

Its like nothing in this terrifying world can touch you.

No matter what your going through 

Its like loving that person && knowing they love you back

It protects you somehow.

Like your a Caterpillar in a cocoon.

Just waiting to break out, become a butterfly

&& fly away.

Love. . .

Its this incredible sensation,

&& when you have it for someone

You can never shake it. . .

Not real love, not this love. . .

Its like standing on a mountain top 

Or laying in the sand && listening to the ocean crash against the shore.

Love like that you only have for one person ever. . .

If you lucky. Because love like that. . .

You put your all into.

Love like that. . .gives you hope, gives you faith

&& no matter what happens. . .love like that can never leave you 

Even if the person who ignited that flame does. . .

Pour Toutes Mes Dames

Here's to all those who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.
Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.
Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.
Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great ones, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".This is for the ones that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex friend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time."
Here's to the ones who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a shit about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.This is for those ones, who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.

Aujourd'hui est mon jour

today is finally my day.
as hard as it has been these past few months i've decided today is the day i let everything go.
last nite & today i've been extremely angry. i've never been this way ever & its not who i want to be.
i dont want anyone to control my emotions but me & i've been allowing someone else to have contorl for entirely too long.
i am no longer going to dwell on the fact that someone wronged me, or the fact that i allowed them to tear my life apart from one end to the other.
i'm not going to concern myself with the fact that no matter how hard i try i can not rid myself of the love i have for this person. no matter how much hate grows for them at the same time in the heart in the same breathe that i say i love him i hate him.
but today that is not where i am anymore.
why think about the past when i have such a bright future staring me in the face.
if im all caught up with what happened then i will never be able to experience whats going on now!
i feel like that Danity Kane song "poetry"
its a lyric that says "i missed you til you almost took my sanity"
fuck almost my sanity was gone. but its back now lol.
& i am soo happy.
as im sitting here writing this it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.
like i feel good right now & i am completely sober lol.
i feel like my smiles are finally genuine.
i never want anyone to like be able to steal my joy from me ever again!
me & my friends have made a decision that we will never speak of this person again lol.
if we run into one another on the streets nigga look the other way cause ima definately be avoiding you!
this is a memory i never want to return to!
im on some Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind type shit.
if youve never seen the movie you need to! asap!
cuz im sure its some people out there you just wish you could never remember again!
just wake up & they never exsisted in your world.
too bad life will never be so perfect. . .